On Atmosphere II

I realized I actually wanted to expand on my post about atmosphere so...here goes. Part two!

So, I showed you some examples of building atmosphere in my first post, but let's break that down a bit further. I'm going to show you the same kind of setting with different atmospheres. Given the time of year, let's go with "School" as a springboard, shall we?

I. 

For every click of my heel against the cracked linoleum, I could feel what was left of my summer spirit slipping away. The buzzing of the soul-sucking fluorescents set a low level headache beating away behind my eyeballs. It was the same old hallway, in spite of my upgrade to Sophomore, and it would be the same old, dirty, hallway until the school burned down or I managed to graduate in three years.

I could feel flame itching at my fingertips just at the thought.

II.

The pounding, torrential drumbeat on the classroom roof should have made me drowsy, but it was hard to fall asleep in Mr. Brooke's class. Every gesture, every excited scramble of chalk to board was full of frenetic energy. His vibrant blue shirt struck out from the green blackboard, chalk smeared on the rolled up cuffs. If anything, the rain added to the urgency of the lesson. Driving it forward with it's steady patter. I'd been worried at first that taking Advanced Maths would be a mistake, but Mr. Brooke's always made me feel on the cusp of discovery. He made me feel smart.

III.

It was with some small embarrassment that I plucked my teacup from the air where I'd left it. I'd not considered the levitation would last quite so long. In spite of this error, Professor Rawley seemed suitably impressed with my progress. I had not, at least, lost my touch over the summer break. I had been quite worried that I might. It was one thing, after all, to practice my skills in the safe harbor that was Last Star Academy and entirely another to practice where mortals might see me. Really, I would have to attend summer camp next year. It was far too long to go between practice.

I captured a bit of sunbeam to read by later (far better than a candle for under the covers) and finished packing up my things just as the bell tolled for tea.

______________________________

Okay. So, obviously there are more differences between these pieces than simply atmosphere. It's pretty clear that they're genres and voice are different as well. I tried to stay within the same YA range, however, to make it easier to show you the differences.

Our first one uses phrases like, cracked, soul-sucking, dirty, etc. Which tells you right off that the character is moody, dislikes school and also sets up this very clear picture of a dingy, older school building that hasn't quite been cared for properly. In a brief set up, you know what this place looks like, what it feels like. You know what it sounds like. I find that adding in one or two senses in the initial set up really helps sell your atmosphere.

I used sound in the second one as well, but in a different fashion. This one is more upbeat, with bright color and words like vibrant and frenetic, highlighting the character's feelings. While there aren't many details about the room itself, you at least get the feeling of the room. The character feels happy, safe.

The last example is pretty obviously some kind of magic school. It's also a bit more upbeat, and again, while there is little description of the room itself, it's not entirely required to set the mood. This comes off as a more lighthearted character, and a brighter outlook and mood overall.

The other thing you should notice is sentence length. Pacing. The speed of your story is going to change the mood too. Overall, when it comes to the mood, the atmosphere of your story, this is really where all of your different skills come together. You have to understand how each story element works in order to properly set the mood. Word choice, tone, pacing, voice, character...it all feeds back into the atmosphere. Every word you write will feed back into atmosphere.

But getting it right? Definitely worth it.

On Atmopshere I

I noticed these past couple days the question had arisen amongst the PitchWars hopefuls about atmosphere. More the point, resources on writing atmosphere. I did some looking about my bookshelf, I googled and I tried to remember what my favorite writing teacher had said on the subject.

And now, I'm going to talk about it.

Firstly, with atmosphere, I believe that much writing is a "monkey see" "monkey do" endeavor. One must read it in order to write it. Dissecting why something works, is much more effective a teacher than anything someone can be told. So I'm going to show you some examples of different atmospheres with similarities and talk a bit about them. 

Example 1:

"The library was dark, dusty. Oil lamps gave a bare light from their glass-encased globes. The shelves groaned with the weight of their charges. Little of the battered floral wallpaper was visible under the dozens of devotional images and framed portraits of ecclesiastical men. The floor was just as cramped as the walls, dusty desks piled high with leather bound books and disintegrating scrolls. At one desk, a girl sat in front of a tome.

The yellowed and cracked pages of the manuscript spoke in sharp tones as she turned the pages. The smell of must and leather, of age itself, met the nostrils of the girl in front of the tome. She sat straight and still in her chair. Her crisp black dress and the starched veil over her hair made a sharp contrast to her freckled cheeks and luminous eyes. The green of them was the only bright color besides the worn velvet armchair that Father Price slept in. His snores blew his mustache to and fro in front of his long face." 

All right. So, atmosphere! Notice the word choices. Things like tome and ecclesiastical. The specific descriptions: Yellowed and cracked pages and spoke in sharp tones, luminous eyes, of age itself. 

The manner of phrase, the words I chose and the descriptions I used are all focused on the same goal. Telling you how this place feels, when this takes place and where it takes place. At no point are you told the year, the time of year, or the time of day or even the place. You know it's a library but any other details are going to be inferred. 

You can infer that it's either evening, or that there are no windows in the library, but Father Price is asleep, so perhaps it is evening after all. The library could just be in a school, but the addition of how her clothes are described and the word ecclesiastical, devotional, sets you up for something else. 

Most importantly, all of these choices build together to set the mood of the story.

Example 2:

"Loose leaves made trails through the air in the crisp October wind. For those with the nose for such things, the cold wind was tinged with a scent that did not belong amongst the leaves and sweet apples of autumn. It was a thick, hot smell that brought to mind the taste of blood. It was death. Not the soft sunshine of a gentle passing, but the fire and pain of violence.
 

In the middle of a half-constructed suburb, shells of houses lined with clean white sidewalks that led to nowhere, on a fresh stretch of asphalt yet to be painted with yellow dividing lines, barricades had been set up, tape stretched between them and uniformed officers stationed to keep out the growing crowd of curious and morbid onlookers. The Angel of Death had struck again." 

Here we have something completed different atmospherically, though the tone is similar. This is obviously a more modern setting and right away you are told that it's Autumn, and given specific details that tell you what kind of story this is right off the bat. We can infer that this is a mystery, we know a killer stalks the streets. It's very clear what kind of story is being told here. 

Both this example and example 1 are for mysteries, but the first one, while setting a mood that's older, is somehow friendlier. Example 2 is more modern and my word choices, sentence patterns and voice are all keyed toward a specific effect.

Example 3:

"I shook the icy rain off of me with a shrug and shudder. Bloody weather. Absolutely horrendous. As if I don't have enough to deal with. The gravediggers were nearly finished now, burying empty boxes in front of a large grey headstone. The mourners were long gone now. Off to the train station, no doubt, to head back into Verreden. Why the Blacks had wished to be buried in Briar’s Gate was no matter to me.
 

Here lies Reginald and Sara Black, loving parents. Loving parents indeed. They had proven they would do anything to protect her. The heavy stone that marked their grave was carved with ravens. An uncommon family crest, but I’d seen little Harriet and by her dark curls and pale skin it was rather obvious that somewhere in the family line was Raven. Interesting that they’d chosen to commemorate it on the stone. Leaving a trail of breadcrumbs?
 

I fluffed up my feathers and toed closer to the end of the branch to watch as the last shovelful of dirt crashed down onto the ground, a bit of dark burlap was rolled over the mound.
 

Time to be going.
 

I shook off the rain again, spreading wings to take to the air. I found the little girl at the train station with her barrister. I watched her board the train, watched the boy slip on after her. Hmm. I recognized the sort, though not the boy himself. One of the Guard’s strays. Off to slay a Heartless? He looked a bit young for such endeavors. He wouldn’t succeed. Even a more seasoned Guard would have trouble dispatching the little Orphan Black."

This one is in first person, which immediately changes the tone. But this is obviously similar to some degree to the atmosphere of the first. You have some solid world building details here, but you also have atmosphere. It's raining and cold. The narrator is annoyed, curious and--odd. Building the mood here is as dependent on the voice of the character as it is on everything else.

Each of these examples utilizes word choice, description and voice to build the atmosphere. I find that immersion helps. Read books about your setting. Watch movies and TV shows with a similar feeling, listen to music. When you feel immersed, it's a lot easier to write within that setting. 

Really look at your word choices. Look at how you described various things and people. Every choice you make will either add to the atmosphere you're building or put holes in it. Language choices are everything. 

I'll leave you with some recommended reading.

Writer's Workshop of Science Fiction & Fantasy edited by Michael Knost (I don't know how readily available this is, I believe it was a Kickstarter and I received it as a gift)

Anthology collections in your genre. This is actually super important because it will A: Show you a variety of handlings in a small space and B: Give you something to dissect. 

On Writing by Stephen King

Anything by Neil Gaiman, he is a master at atmosphere.

Pitchwars and New Directions

It's kind of funny, since starting the PitchWars prep, I've been doing a lot of peripheral creation. Mostly with imagery. Which has been fun. I've gotten a much firmer handle on GIF usage, image curation and the like. I've created traditional art for Liadan in the past, utilizing illustration skills and testing out some different styles, but I'd never really toyed with cultivating a mixed media presentation of sorts. It's sort of fascinating actually, this mesh of words and images and tiny video clips that helps sell the story you're trying to explain.

 I've done a couple portraits of Liadan. One in a more illustrative style and one with more realism. The one on the left is a version of her that's older (around 14) while the one on the right I conceived closer to her age in A Matter of Mummies. I like both of them for different reasons and more importantly they helped me sort out her appearance and personality.

 Novel aesthetics are this sort of phenomenon that's emerged from the digital age of stock photos, screenshots and the millions of images available via search engines combined with free, easy to use image editing software. I've used one of them, but I prefer using Gimp. It's also free but it has a more Photoshop like feel.
 It's actually been really helpful for me, much in the way the portraits were. It made me focus on the atmosphere of my book and I even ended up adding in some descriptions I'd glossed over because I had a more definite idea of certain buildings.

I even learned about a new painter, which always makes me happy, and started working on Liadan's aesthetic for potential future books. In historical fiction, clothes can be everything. Liadan's disdain for hats I knew, but getting to look at extant garments for the era gave me ideas about what Liadan would look like a little older. What she'd wear, how she'd walk and sit and exist in space.

Images can be incredibly powerful and when you can combine art and words together it can spark new ideas and new creative venues. It certainly helped breathe new life into my creative process. So if I get nothing else out of PitchWars (and I've already made some new friends!) it's definitely been worth it.

Good luck to the mentee hopefuls and happy reading to the mentors!

The To-Be-Read Pile

Ah, it happens every so often that my TBR pile exceeds my reading. I'm the sort of person who, in a good year, may read upwards of a hundred books but... Not every year is a good year. So the books have piled up a bit and I'm trying to motivate myself by swearing off buying any new books until I read the ones I have.

Yes, feel free to snicker in disbelief at that statement.

I'm pretty sure all of the books I've bought and not yet read aren't even in this pile and I've just forgotten about them.

So, this list seems to be as follows (though unlikely to be read in this order):

Reap the Wind by Karen Chance
A Breath of Snow and Ashes by Diana Gabaldon
The Silvered by Tanya Huff
Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy
The Magic Thief Home by Sarah Prineas
The Graverobber's Apprentice by Allen Stratton

The Sister's Grimm Book 1 by Michael Buckley

Ghost Hunters by Deborah Blum

Boneshaker by Cherie Priest

Copper Magic by Julia Mary Gibson

Her Royal Spyness by Rhys Bowen

The Ladies of Grace Adieu by Susanna Clarke

Jonathon Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke

The Last Dragonslayer by Jasper Fforde

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

The Eyeball Collector by F.E. Higgins (though I didn't realize it was the 3rd book in a series so...I may have to pick up the first two)

The Blue Girl by Charles de Lint

The Book of Irish History by Amy Hackney Blackwell and Ryan Hackney

(Yes, I skipped Catfantastic, I've already read it and simply forgot it was in the stack.)

As you can tell, I've got some variance in age bracket, though genre is somewhat consistent. I don't read a lot of non-fiction, but I've read The Poisoner's Handbook from Deborah Blum before, so I've got high hopes for Ghost Hunters. I've made a habit of going into Half-Price Books clearance section and looking through the MG and YA sections for anything I've never seen before. Some of these were gifts, but I find that there can be real gems hidden away in the "unpopular" books that get shelved in clearance along with the half-dozen copies of Twilight.

I am currently reading the second half of the Author's Choice edition of Strangely Beautiful by Leanna Renee Heiber.

Pitchwars? Apparently so.

Indeed, I have decided to jump into the fray this year. While I can't say my novel writing was compressed into a tidy Disney montage (no matter how much I would have liked that) I can say I'm happy to be making the attempt. 

So, as the man says, let's get down to business. Brass tacks. 




The Book: A Matter of Mummies takes a leaf out of Penny Dreadfuls for a middle grade audience. Mummy murders terrorize Victorian Dublin and it's going to take a kid genius, her police inspector sidekick and a few werewolves to solve it. 

 
 Follow twelve-year-old Liadan Foley as she evades electrotherapy, tries to recover missing memories and solve the murders--all while trying to figure out how to handle having an overprotective guardian. 

It's the kind of book I wanted to read when I was a kid, with a super smart girl who's brave and vulnerable, set in one of my favorite cities and showcasing some interesting historical facts. Plus, you know, I'm a sucker for alt. history because Diana Wynne Jones is my hero.





Who shall follow me on this journey of woe? 
I'm looking for someone who can help me catch plot holes, see things I've overlooked. I usually need some help fleshing things out a bit. I like my stories lean and I can be a bit sparser than necessary. I can take critique and I like doing the work. I mean, sure, line edits aren't the most fun thing ever, but the results always make me happy.

The Author: I take my tea with sugar and honey and milk (because I'm a heathen) and spend my free time perfecting my baking techniques, reading about murder and pretending my internet search history is perfectly normal. I can't drink (because I'm allergic) so instead I eat chocolate. I'm not sure if that's better or not.

My cat bites (and drools), I have a book related tattoo and I've spent much of the summer trying to find the best strawberry ice cream (It's a toss up right now between Jeni's and Graeter's).

I know, he doesn't look evil.

I grew up on Queen, Evanescence and Garth Brooks. These days, I'm still a Queen fan, but country music and I have parted ways--though my recent obsession with the Decemberists tells me that folk music and I aren't done. 

I love historical TV shows so yes I rewatch Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, Murdoch Mysteries, Penny Dreadful... There's a theme there. If it's fantasy, I've probably watched it, no matter how bad and I have a secret terrible addiction for Disney channel movies.

I can't pick a favorite book, but if asked what book shaped me as a writer? Well, that's probably a tie between Bram Stoker's Dracula and The Time City by Diana Wynne Jones.

You can find me on Twitter and Facebook!

I don't smile in photos. It's a thing.

Check out the rest of the blog hop!

The Book

I wrote many stories as a child, but I have a very clear memory of the first novel I ever wrote. Ever finished. I was immensely proud. Flash forward a couple years and I took my first stab at a rewrite. And another. And another. And another.

I think I rewrote this book ten times, but I never really finished it and I was never really happy with it. It became this sort of monster always waiting to suck me back in for another go. I never seemed to have a handle on what wasn't working. Why I couldn't finish it.

I'm a believer in the idea that with some stories, there is a right time for them to be written. There are books you keep in your drawer that you never really abandon. The ones you know have problems but...you can't really let them go. This one of those books. I wasn't really self-aware enough as a teenager to write this book. I wasn't educated enough to write this book.

More importantly, I hadn't really figured out who these characters were. I started rewriting it more recently, something started to click. Plot details I'd never considered started to emerge. Character betrayals. Shifts in attitudes. Name changes. Physique changes. The more things changed, the closer I seemed to get to what I was missing.

I kept writing and I kept digging and then--I hit a wall. I was still missing something. Something important. Astrid was missing something. I was sort of just screwing around on Tumblr, as one does when they're supposed to be writing, when I a post caught my eye. I knew what I missing. I knew what I'd gotten wrong with Astrid.

In my teenager years, I didn't write gay characters. I didn't have any books or TV shows that had gay characters. It wasn't a conscious choice. There just weren't a lot of them around. The landscape is certainly changing now, but back then it didn't even occur to me that Astrid could be gay. We talk about a shortage of YA fiction with LGBT MC now, it was a desert then. Especially at a school in the middle of a corn field.

So when I realized Astrid wasn't straight, it was like a damn light bulb went off. This book that I had been struggling with for so long suddenly came together in the course of a few days. The pieces fell into place. I'd been looking at Astrid as one thing for so long and to finally have this book finished. Sometimes, writer's block isn't just about a lack of ideas. Sometimes, it's because there's something just wrong in the story and until we find it, we can't move forward.

I'm just glad I figured it out. I'm glad I found the right way to tell this story and I'm glad I can move on to the next thing--like Astrid's second book. 

On Under-Writing VS. Over-Writing

You know what advice you get every time you start edits on your novel? It's CUT. Cut this. Cut that. Cut had. (Some of these are generally true, like seriously go through and cut every other that, you probably don't need them.) But for those of us who start with bones and work outward, this advice is more often than not--wrong.

In a world that seems full of advice for those that over-write, those that pound out 100K word-plus first drafts and then trim, squeeze and massage their books into a shape that makes the most sense, the under-writers are left feeling a bit out of place.

I didn't even know there was a word for the way I wrote until a week ago when a writer friend pounced on me and said, "I just read this article about the difference between under-writers and over-writers."

It was like a lightbulb went off. I understood why so much of the editing advice I'd seen just didn't jive with the way I wrote.

Because I am not an over-writer. I do not start with hundreds of thousands of words. My first drafts are short. Lean. Sparse. Like a desert spotted with small oasis of information. The advice, while good for those who do write that way, doesn't work for me.

I was left constantly thinking I was somehow doing it wrong. That my method of writing, the thing that worked for me, was wrong. Eventually I just stopped caring about that and found my own ways of working through the editing problems an under-writer faces with their manuscripts. I would go through my drafts, flagging scenes that needed development, and sure, there were generally some cuts made but when I write a second draft, for every 500 words I cut, I usually add in another 1500 or more.

One good example of this is the first draft I wrote of my most recent WIP, Bloodlines. That first draft was 40,000 words. Done. Dead. The new draft, with savage cuts, changes and alterations? 85,000 words. This is a pattern I've repeated with nearly every book I've ever written. Drastically short initial drafts that then fill in as work through the edits.

And it's not a wrong way to work, it's just a different way to work. For me, the idea of writing down hundreds of thousands of words, knowing that I'll be cutting half, seemed--odd. Not right. Because it wasn't right for me. My first drafts are bones. The skeleton the story stands on. Edits are the part where I start adding in meat and flesh (to continue this rather macabre comparison), painting in the finer details. For those of you out there that are like me, those of you who don't over-write, there's nothing wrong with working this way.

Yes, there will be things you cut. Yes, there will be things you change. But your end word count should be higher at the end of the draft than it was when you started, not lower.

Another example would be this book I wrote that, for the first time ever in a first draft, broke 100K words. I was shocked. Confused.

And then I realized, it's two books. Not one. TWO. I broke it apart, rewrote both drafts and was left with book one at 73K and the other at 84K. I believe one started at somewhere around 60K and the other around 40K. I added, I cut, I prodded, poked and finagled. But the massive cuts you generally see advised never happened.

Whatever way you write, if it works for you, keep doing it. And if you, like me, are an under-writer, you are not alone. You aren't writing the wrong way. You're just, different.